Hilarious Things Only Runners Say (that sound completely mad to non-runners)

Us runners are a strange breed and this is most evident when you’re speaking with someone who isn’t a runner.

Here are some hilarious things that only runners say that makes zero sense to everyone else!

“I hate running”

For some of us running is a love / hate relationship. You hate it before and during and then after you feel like you can take on the entire world!

“It’s only a 10k”

Oh, how nonchalant of you to ONLY run 6 miles.

“I lost another toenail this week”

Goes with the territory I’m sorry to tell you. Running = bad toenails. It’s a scientific certainty.

“What’s ‘arm day’?”

It’s all about the legs and miles… yes having noodles arms IS the aesthetic I’m going for, thank you for asking.

“I could run that” *while looking at a roadsign

There are only 12 miles until your destination and you know for certain you could run that.

“I can’t wait for winter”

Running in the summer is such a drag you’re hot a sweaty before you even start and the heat drains all of your energy. Not in the winter though! Sign me up for those winter races thanks.

“I can’t stay late, I’ve got a race in the morning”

Weekends are never the same. Saturdays are now officially ‘parkrun days’ so staying out late on a Friday night is an absolute no-no.

“A little bit of rain would be great about now”

A most useful phrase during a race. It’s summer, it’s boiling hot, just a small shower would cool me down perfectly right now. (Don’t tell your spectators)

“It’s not hilly it’s undulating”

H. i. l. l. y. sorry I don’t understand. You mean undulating… it sounds MUCH nicer!

“There’s no such thing as too much pasta”

Carb loading is real. As if anyone needs an excuse to eat more this is it.

“I’ll just do another loop around the house”

When you’re at 5.8 miles you just can’t stop there it would be illegal. Rounding it up to 6 is a must… and if you’re really determined let’s make it up to 10k.

“I forgot to press start on my Garmin….. does it still count??”

Eugh. I want to say yes it still counts but we all know that it doesn’t.

“I’m going for a quick run I’ll be right back”

No, you won’t. You’ll be gone ages… and people won’t worry because they know you’re lying.

“I’m super tired, a run will perk me up”

This is a FACT. I know to non-runners this doesn’t seem like it would be true but believe me it works!

“These worn-out shoes mean too much to me to get rid of them”

You ran some of your best races and got several PBs in them, even though they’re completely inappropriate to run in now, they’re part of your permanent collection.

“Carbs, run, rest”

Needs no explanation except the most important one is first in this list.

“I may as well run the half marathon it’s more for your mile”

You have to choose between the 10k and the half marathon but the half is only £5 more… seems crazy to only run 10k when you can get so many more miles for your money. It’s like you’re actually saving money.

When you see ‘5k’ you immediately think 3.1 miles not £5,000

Try thinking in any other way, I bet you can’t.

“I can’t go away then I have a race that weekend”

Race calendar comes first, vacations and other events have to be worked around those.

“I’ve got a twinge so I’ll only run a few miles”

Everyone is guilty of running when they probably shouldn’t due to injury. But a little run won’t hurt…. right??

“I haven’t run in 2 days I’m going insane”

Going stir crazy when you haven’t been able to run is the worst. And no you won’t lose all of your progress having a couple of days off…. yep we’re pretty sure you won’t….

“All of my washing is workout clothes”

Do you even own ‘normal’ clothes? Are your running clothes creeping into your ‘everyday clothes’?

“What snacks will I eat when I get home”

Snacks, snacks and more snacks are always at the forefront of your mind.

I hope you enjoyed these funny runners sayings. Do you say some of these things without even realising? Have you got your own quirky things you say as a runner that non-runners just wouldn’t understand?